I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
