I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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