Whoa Z and x make the same sound
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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