So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
