I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
