Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Randomize
