if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize