Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
