My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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