Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
