Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
