Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
