i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
