gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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