Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
