i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
