mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize