All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
