just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
