So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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