His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
