I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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