I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize