I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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