My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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