God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
