puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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