I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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