Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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