Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
