I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
