Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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