Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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