I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
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