I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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