I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
