you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
