I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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