he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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