is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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