I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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