I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
birth control should be required to get into college
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
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