ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
