Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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