I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
