wakey wakey hands off snakey
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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