this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
