this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
