he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
