i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
