Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
