We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize