so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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