god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize