I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
