I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
