Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
