who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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