So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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