i'm signing you up for texting rehab
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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