Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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