Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
